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- The Huddle - Edition 92
The Huddle - Edition 92
A weekly newsletter from The Coaching Dad.
The Coaching Dad
April 02, 2026
Intro
The Invisible Part of the Game Is Often the Loudest
Most youth coaches are great at teaching skills you can see: footwork, swing mechanics, passing, positioning. The hard part is the stuff you can’t see—confidence, internal voice, fear of messing up, spiraling after one mistake, or the kid who looks “fine” but plays tight and quiet.
The good news is the mental side isn’t magic. It’s coachable. Not with long speeches, but with simple language, repeatable routines, and a team culture that makes it normal to struggle and reset.
A few research anchors worth knowing as you coach this:
The American Psychiatric Association notes youth sports participation is often associated with positives like higher self-esteem and lower rates of anxiety and depression, but also acknowledges the modern “over-organization” and pressure can complicate the experience.
A recent clinical review covers sport-related performance anxiety in young athletes and emphasizes how it can show up in kids and how psychological interventions can help.
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Lets go!
Insight of the week
What Mental Struggles Look Like (and How it Changes by Age)
Here’s the tricky part: mental struggles in sports don’t always look like “sad” or “anxious.” A lot of the time, they look like behavior. Avoidance. Anger. Quitting on reps. Overconfidence that’s really a mask. Or the kid who suddenly becomes “the class clown” the moment things get hard.
As a coach, you’re not diagnosing anything. You’re watching for patterns and creating a safe, steady environment where kids can reset and keep learning.
Common signs to keep an eye on (all ages):
A big dip in effort after one mistake (“spiral behavior”)
Avoiding the ball / hiding in drills / passing responsibility
Overreacting to feedback or taking it personally (“I’m terrible”)
Physical tension: stiff movement, rushed decisions, shallow breathing
Perfectionism: melts down unless everything goes right
Uncharacteristic irritability, shutdown, or withdrawal
How it can show up by age group:
Ages 6–9 (little kids, big feelings):
They often don’t have the language to explain what’s happening, so you’ll see it as quick tears, frustration, “I don’t want to play,” or blaming others. They can also attach identity fast (“I’m bad”) because they think in simple labels.
What helps: short cues, fast resets, lots of “try again” reps, and praise for bravery (attempts) more than outcomes.
Ages 10–12 (comparison starts creeping in):
They begin noticing who’s “good,” who gets attention, and where they rank. Mistakes can feel public. This is where negative self-talk and embarrassment show up more.
What helps: normalize mistakes, teach a reset routine, and build confidence with measurable “small wins” they can track.
Ages 13–15 (identity + social pressure):
This is where you see more fear of looking foolish, overthinking, and performance anxiety. Kids may look tough on the outside but feel fragile inside. They can also get very coach-sensitive (tone matters).
What helps: private correction when possible, clear roles, and “process goals” that give them something to focus on besides fear.
Ages 16–18 (stakes feel real):
Playing time, tryouts, recruiting, scholarships, and social status can amplify pressure. Some athletes start playing not to grow, but to avoid failure.
What helps: consistent standards, autonomy (give choices), and calm expectations that focus on controllables and preparation—plus knowing when to pull in a school counselor, parent, or professional if needed.
One more coaching reality: if you create a team culture where kids only feel valued when they’re producing, you will get tighter athletes. If you create a culture where effort and response to mistakes are praised, you’ll get athletes who can breathe and compete.
The Coaching Dad Recommendation
Your Athlete is Good Enough for a Scholarship
If your family wants to make the recruiting process feel less chaotic, Athlete Narrative is a strong recommendation that I love! What stands out is how clearly it supports both sides of the process: it helps athletes stay visible and organized, while also giving parents a better way to stay informed without adding pressure.
For athletes, the biggest value is speed and simplicity. Athlete Narrative highlights a quick-build Radar Page (profile) where athletes can share highlights, stats, grades, and key info in one place, plus tools for school research and coach outreach. They also promote fast communication features like personalized coach emails in under 60 seconds and AI support, which can help athletes stay consistent with outreach instead of putting it off. (athletenarrative.com)
For parents, the value is peace of mind and visibility. Their messaging consistently emphasizes “Parent-Approved Efficiency,” with a focus on saving time, reducing stress, and helping families stay aligned during recruiting. You can also set up weekly parent updates, which is a helpful benefit for families who want to support the process without hovering over every step. (athletenarrative.com)
A big bonus for families following The Coaching Dad: you can access Athlete Narrative at a 40% discount—just $15/month. That’s a fraction of the cost compared to many recruiting services on the market, while still giving families a premium, athlete-first experience.
Drill of the week
The B.R.A.V.E. Self-Talk (Mental Drill)
Skill Focus: Positive self-talk, quick emotional reset, confidence language under pressure
Setup:
Circle up your team for 3–5 minutes at the start or end of practice. No equipment needed. You’ll do this fast, the same way, every time.
B.R.A.V.E. = a simple self-talk script kids can remember:
B — Breathe: one slow inhale, longer exhale
R — Reset: prepare to reset
A — Anchor: name one quality/strength
V — Visualize: a positive outcome
E — Execute: pick one small thing to do
How to Run It:
Coach says: “Everyone close your eyes for five seconds.”
Walk them through B.R.A.V.E. out loud (10–15 seconds per letter).
Then have them say their Anchor and Execute line out loud (quietly but confidently):
Finish with a quick team rep: one clap, one word together (“BRAVE”), then go.
Coaching Tips:
Keep this drill consistent. The power is repetition.
If a kid is struggling, pull them aside later and help them pick a better Anchor (grounded strength, not a wish).
Tie it to real moments: before a penalty kick, after an error, before an at-bat, after a turnover.
Praise usage: when a kid resets well, say it out loud—“That was BRAVE.”
This gives kids a mental routine they can actually use mid-game, when their brain is loud and time is short.
Tip of the week
Tools Coaches Can Use to Build Confidence and Quiet the Negative Voice
You don’t need to turn practice into therapy. What you need are a few “go-to tools” that are short, repeatable, and easy for kids to remember under stress.
1) Coach the reset before you coach the mistake
When an athlete is flooded, teaching doesn’t land. So you reset first, then you correct.
Reset cues that work: “Next rep.” “Flush it.” “Breathe and go.”
Keep it the same every time so the brain learns the routine.
2) Give them a script for their internal voice (don’t assume they have one)
Most kids’ self-talk is either random or harsh. Help them replace it with something usable:
Instead of: “Don’t mess up.”
Try: “Keep it simple”
Instead of: “I’m terrible.”
Try: “I’m still learning”
Instead of: “Everyone’s watching.”
Try: “Focus on this one thing”
3) Use “confidence evidence,” not hype
Overconfidence and low confidence often share the same problem: the athlete doesn’t have grounded proof. Build proof.
After practice, ask: “What’s one thing you did better today?”
4) Teach “fear skills,” not fear avoidance
Fear shows up as playing safe, refusing the ball, or quitting on aggressive plays. Your job is to make fear manageable.
Start with smaller reps, controlled pressure, and gradually build difficulty.
Praise the attempt: “You went for it. That’s progress.”
5) Coach sportsmanship like a performance skill
A kid who can’t handle calls, teammates’ mistakes, or opponents will struggle mentally all season.
Script it: “We respond with composure.”
Make it visible: celebrate calm reactions as much as big plays.
If you want a deeper resource stack for coaches/parents, the “Youth Athlete Mental Health Playbook” is one example of a guide built specifically to help adults create mentally safer sport environments.
Blog Highlight
How to Build Confident Kids With a Strong Inner Voice
Coaching the mental side of youth sports is one of the best ways to help athletes stay confident, resilient, and consistent under pressure. This blog shares practical, coach-friendly ways to teach positive self-talk, stronger internal voice habits, motivation, and simple reset routines that kids can actually use in games.
Gear up
Start Looking the Part!
Every week I release new products in my Etsy store. My goal is to bring a little style back into the youth sports game. You’ll find things for coaches, parents and kids.
The Volunteer Coach Academy
Stop Guessing and Really Help Your Team Improve
You’ve seen the tips and tools I share each week—now imagine everything you need to coach with confidence, all in one place. I’ve built a complete course designed specifically for volunteer and parent-coaches to help you feel prepared, supported, and ready to lead. Whether you’re stepping on the field for the first time or just want to get better for your kid’s sake, this course was made for you.
Oh and if you aren’t ready for the course yet, still check out the link to learn more because there’s a free Coach’s Guide that you can start using instantly.
Book highlight
For Coaches, Parents and Youth Athletes
The Constant Coach
Get this for the coach in your life as it provides coaching guidance and insights one day at a time throughout the entire year.
Stories For Young Athletes
Do you have an Young athlete who’s afraid of getting hit by a pitch or who maybe isn’t quite as aggressive on the soccer field as they could be? This book helps kids with a variety of circumstances, in a lot of different sports, through various stories that your child can relate to. It’s perfect for kids 7-11!
Featured Coaching Resources
Aggression and Anxiety Guides
I just released two new guides designed to make your coaching easier and your players more confident:
1. The Aggression Guide
Perfect for the child who plays great at home but hesitates in games. This guide gives you simple, practical strategies to help players be more assertive, engaged, and confident—without pressure or yelling.
2. Calm Under Pressure
A quick, powerful guide for helping young athletes manage anxiety, nerves, and fear of mistakes. You’ll learn what to look for, what to say, and how to support kids during tough moments.
Content
Other Free Content
You might be new to coaching a team or sport. You may be a grizzled coaching veteran. Either way, check out the content section of thecoachingdad.com. You’ll find resources that cover a large number of sports, including game refreshers, position breakdowns, injury management, practice ideas and more.
Engage
Email Us
Did you miss a previous newsletter? Do you have a topic you’d like us to cover? Looking for broader insights on a particular topic? Send us an email at [email protected]
