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- The Huddle - Edition 94
The Huddle - Edition 94
A weekly newsletter from The Coaching Dad.
The Coaching Dad
April 16, 2026
Intro
You’re Not A Bad Coach for Getting Frustrated
If you coach long enough, frustration is basically guaranteed. A kid won’t listen. A player melts down. A parent wants answers mid-game. A ref misses a call. The scoreboard gets weird. Your brain starts running hot… and if you’re not careful, frustration turns into anger and you spend the rest of the game coaching from emotion instead of coaching the game.
The goal isn’t to never feel frustration. The goal is to notice it early, manage it on purpose, and keep your leadership steady—because your team is watching you.
A few research anchors that show how common this stuff is (and why it matters):
In a SafeSport survey of 3,470 coaches (Oct–Nov 2025), more than half of respondents said they were aware of other coaches who swore at adult officials, and nearly 40% said they were aware of coaches who intentionally humiliated officials.
The same report highlighted a consistent theme: coaches asked for more support in handling family members of athletes—which is basically the polite way of saying, “parents can be stressful.”
Please share this newsletter with a parent or coach. Encourage them to sign up. It’s a small ask, but it can have a big impact on helping us grow this really awesome community.
Follow us on the social channel of your choice (click on icons at the end or search @the_coaching_dad) and visit www.thecoachingdad.com.
Lets go!
Insight of the week
What to Watch for When Frustration is Building (And Why It’s Normal)
Most coaches don’t go from calm to angry in one moment. It’s usually a slow build—small irritations stacking up until one “tiny” thing becomes the spark. The reason it feels so personal is also simple: coaching is emotional work. You care, you’re responsible for kids, and you’re trying to do it well in a chaotic environment. So yes—frustration is completely normal.
The key is catching it early, because frustration has “tells.” Once you learn yours, you can intervene before your tone changes, your body language spikes, or you say something you spend the drive home replaying.
Common signs you’re starting to coach from frustration (not from clarity):
Your voice gets sharper or faster (even if you’re “not yelling”)
You start coaching every rep instead of the one or two things that matter
You fixate on one player, one parent, or one ref call
Your feedback turns sarcastic or “personal” (“What are you doing?” instead of “Here’s the fix”)
You feel urgency in your chest—like you need to control everything right now
You stop noticing the kids who are doing it right (you only see problems)
Why this is normal (and not a character flaw):
Stress narrows attention. Under pressure, your brain locks onto threats (mistakes, calls, conflict) and misses the bigger picture.
Coaches absorb everyone else’s emotions. Kids are nervous, parents are invested, refs are human, and you’re standing in the middle of it.
The environment rewards emotional reactions. Loud reactions feel like “leadership” in the moment, even when they actually create more chaos.
The big coaching win is learning to stay intense without getting tense. If your intensity stays controlled, it helps your team focus. If it turns emotional, it usually spreads—fast.
The Coaching Dad Recommendation
Don’t Miss Out On Scholarships
Eighth grade and beyond is a perfect time to start thinking about your childs’ step towards athletic advancement beyond high school, not to mention opportunities to enjoy a great education at a reduced cost, or even FREE.
If your family wants to make the recruiting process feel less chaotic, Athlete Narrative is a strong recommendation that I love! What stands out is how clearly it supports both sides of the process: it helps athletes stay visible and organized, while also giving parents a better way to stay informed without adding pressure.
For athletes, the biggest value is speed and simplicity. Athlete Narrative highlights a quick-build Radar Page (profile) where athletes can share highlights, stats, grades, and key info in one place, plus tools for school research and coach outreach. They also promote fast communication features like personalized coach emails in under 60 seconds and AI support, which can help athletes stay consistent with outreach instead of putting it off. (athletenarrative.com)
For parents, the value is peace of mind and visibility. Their messaging consistently emphasizes “Parent-Approved Efficiency,” with a focus on saving time, reducing stress, and helping families stay aligned during recruiting. You can also set up weekly parent updates, which is a helpful benefit for families who want to support the process without hovering over every step. (athletenarrative.com)
A big bonus for families following The Coaching Dad: you can access Athlete Narrative at a 40% discount—just $15/month. That’s a fraction of the cost compared to many recruiting services on the market, while still giving families a premium, athlete-first experience.
Drill of the week
Volleyball: Pass-Build-Finish (Hula Hoop Target)
Skill Focus: Serve-receive passing, communication, passing accuracy to target, resetting after mistakes
Setup
Put a hula hoop on the floor at the setter target zone (front-center, a few feet off the net—where you want your best passes to land).
3 passers in serve-receive on one side.
A coach/server on the other side with a bucket of balls.
Optional: a setter at the net to catch/quick-set (or a coach standing near the hoop).
How to Run It
Coach initiates with a controlled serve or toss.
Passers must call it (“Mine!”) and pass with the goal of landing the ball into the hula hoop (or at least “touching hoop area” for younger kids).
If the pass hits the hoop/lands in it, the coach (or setter) immediately sends a free ball back and the group plays 3 touches (pass–set–controlled hit/roll).
If the pass misses the hoop, you still play it out—but the “bonus” free ball only happens on hoop passes.
Rotate passers every few reps to keep volume high and energy up.
Coaching Tips
The hoop makes feedback instant: kids see what “good location” means without you talking for five minutes.
Start with a generous rule for younger teams: “within one step of the hoop” counts. Tighten it as they improve.
Remind passers: feet first, platform second—most misses are from reaching instead of moving.
Keep the drill moving. Passing improves through reps and rhythm, not long pauses.
Tip of the week
Simple Tools to Manage Coach Frustration in Real Time
You don’t need a meditation retreat. You need a couple of “sideline tools” that work in the noise of a game and the mess of a practice. Here are a few that are practical and easy to repeat.
1) Use a 10-second “Reset Routine” (same every time)
Pick something you can do without anyone noticing:
One slow inhale, longer exhale
Relax jaw/shoulders (most coaches don’t realize they’re clenched)
2) Coach in “one correction + one encouragement”
When you’re frustrated, you tend to pile on instructions. Instead, give:
One actionable fix (“Get your feet set before the throw.”)
One confidence builder (“You’re in the right spot—now finish it.”)
It keeps your coaching clean and stops your tone from drifting into anger.
3) Separate what you can control vs. what you can’t—out loud
This is a pressure release valve. When something unfair happens, label it and move:
“We can’t control the call. We can control our response.”
That line helps you and it helps the kids.
4) Parent and ref boundaries that protect your nervous system
Choose a time to talk with parents that is not during competition (before/after, or 24-hour rule).
If a ref interaction is necessary, make it short, neutral, and single-point: “Can you watch off-ball contact?” Then walk away.
It’s not about being passive—it’s about staying effective.
5) Do a quick post-game “frustration audit” (2 minutes)
This is how you actually get better at managing it:
What triggered me?
What did I do that helped?
What’s one adjustment I’ll use next time?
Most coaches repeat the same frustration patterns because they never name them.
A mindset that helps: frustration is information. Anger is leakage. You want to use the information without leaking it all over your team.
Blog Highlight
Coaching Through Frustration: How to Stay Steady With Players, Parents, and Yourself
You’re going to have days where the kids can’t stop talking during instructions. You’re going to have practices where it feels like nobody can catch, dribble, pass, or remember the one thing you just said ten seconds ago. You’re going to have games where the ref misses an obvious call, your team gets rattled, and suddenly you can feel the whole sideline tightening up. And yes—at some point—you’re going to have a parent interaction that makes you think, “Why am I doing this again?”.
Gear up
Start Looking the Part!
Every week I release new products in my Etsy store. My goal is to bring a little style back into the youth sports game. You’ll find things for coaches, parents and kids.
The Volunteer Coach Academy
Stop Guessing and Really Help Your Team Improve
You’ve seen the tips and tools I share each week—now imagine everything you need to coach with confidence, all in one place. I’ve built a complete course designed specifically for volunteer and parent-coaches to help you feel prepared, supported, and ready to lead. Whether you’re stepping on the field for the first time or just want to get better for your kid’s sake, this course was made for you.
Oh and if you aren’t ready for the course yet, still check out the link to learn more because there’s a free Coach’s Guide that you can start using instantly.
Book highlight
For Coaches, Parents and Youth Athletes
The Constant Coach
Get this for the coach in your life as it provides coaching guidance and insights one day at a time throughout the entire year.
Stories For Young Athletes
Do you have an Young athlete who’s afraid of getting hit by a pitch or who maybe isn’t quite as aggressive on the soccer field as they could be? This book helps kids with a variety of circumstances, in a lot of different sports, through various stories that your child can relate to. It’s perfect for kids 7-11!
Featured Coaching Resources
Aggression and Anxiety Guides
I just released two new guides designed to make your coaching easier and your players more confident:
1. The Aggression Guide
Perfect for the child who plays great at home but hesitates in games. This guide gives you simple, practical strategies to help players be more assertive, engaged, and confident—without pressure or yelling.
2. Calm Under Pressure
A quick, powerful guide for helping young athletes manage anxiety, nerves, and fear of mistakes. You’ll learn what to look for, what to say, and how to support kids during tough moments.
Content
Other Free Content
You might be new to coaching a team or sport. You may be a grizzled coaching veteran. Either way, check out the content section of thecoachingdad.com. You’ll find resources that cover a large number of sports, including game refreshers, position breakdowns, injury management, practice ideas and more.
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Email Us
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